Caution

This year I will use Caution in my life choices. This year I will throw Caution to the wind. Either way he will greet me each morning of 2009 in my studio. Caution was a holiday gift from my dear friend C....with her psychic friend powers she new exactly what I needed to help me stay on track...or adventure off onto the unbeaten path. And now for the odds and end of my New Year's resolutions...

1. Keep going to the gym (and add the spinning class once a week). Since July 45 pounds have went MIA...and I am curious what can happen in another six months...
2. Time to grow up (a bit) and find an entire house to rent.
3. Remember the birthdays of others...and get the cards purchased or made into the mail on time.
4. Donate blood.
5. Get my teeth cleaned and a real physical.
6. Start my etsy store.
7. Participate in the Renegade Festival in Chicago.
8. Finish my short story about Eve in the garden.
9. Publish my children's book on LuLu or Blurb...and see what happens.
10. Plan and execute three dinner parities...one per quarter (is that too dorky?)
11. Learn how to do my own oil change.
12. Payoff my medical bill (finally!)
13. Start a real savings account...and leave it alone.
14. Adopt a dog and a cat.
15. Grow my own herbs.
16. Cook more. Eat out way less.
17. Pay more attention to the needs of my family and friends.
18. Finish my first felt book before the nephew is born.
19. Find my Aunt Charlotte and my college friend Yolanda.
20. Take more pictures of people I love.
21. Participate in more art swaps.
22. Post art more often.
23. Buy my own truck, couch, scanner, and printer...all for my art of course ;)
24. Go on a canoe trip....and a bike trip.
25. Ride a horse.

What are your plans?

Pledge

Dear Friends and Family,
This year I am taking the Handmade Pledge. This is my promise to the world of arts and crafts that I will support the creativity in others as well as myself. Trying to budget the time for inspiration is tough this time of year. I feel it will be worth the challenge for you and for me. It is with this hope and promise of art working that I plan to stave off the holiday blues. Wish me luck...Oh, the goodies that await each of you!

Survivor

This somewhat scrawny tropical plant lives on our lilac bathroom. He was a gift to me four years ago from my peers at work. Four years ago I had an emergency appendectomy on the eve before Halloween. I was in the hospital for five days instead of the modern overnight stay. The husband tells stories of how costumed people were hanging out in the waiting room with them as I waited over 13 hours for the hospital people to decide what was my issue. My husband arranged for the League of Woman voters to come to the hospital so I could cast my ballot...and I was still pretty drugged up by the time the husband's birthday rolled around. I remember very little of my life from that November four years ago...other than how great it was to finally take a shower without any help washing my hair. The story goes that my appendix had popped during the week and had turned gang green (I know---yuck). By the time my family drug me to the hospital the infection had started to travel to other body organs---my doctor told me much later how serious the situation actually was. As I forgot to water the little fellow today (again) I am amazed at his tenacity to survive in our little bathroom over these past years...and at all the changes that have come in and out of our lives over these years together. I am happy to greet him every morning....me and my little green survivor.

Audacity

Yesterday made me believe that all the change I need in my life might actually be possible.

I can find a better job.

I can be an artist.

I can relax.

I can be...

To Do

On my days off I always have a "to do" that I love to make and love to ignore. For example: Today:

1. Take car in for e-check
2. Get renewal sticker for car
3. Dishes
4. Laundry
5. Clean the Bathroom
6. Vacuum
7. Dust
8. Mail Swaps
9. B-day card for the husband
10. Wax eyebrows
11. Clean work desk---again!
12. Clean out fridge.
13. Work out at Gym

This is all trumped of course for this incredible itch to get in my library and make sense of the book order chaos that has taken over since the room changed four months ago. I mean-- Chuck Klosterman and Peter Beagle are living next door to each other in my library neighborhood at this very moment! The ideal organization in my library is roughly by genre and then alphabetical by author. Right now it is a free for all...and I long to bring my wobbly order back to the literacy anarchy I have ignored for too long. Just that pesky list to ignore....

The Last Sunday

Our excursion to the pumpkin patch was a boost we needed in our relationship. As of today both of our schedules change...and we will see even less of each other over the coming months. Since July we have been able to share one day a week together, Saturdays, and one morning together, Sundays. With his new position at work and a new program I am part of on my shift...everything changes. People joke when I tell them this. Saying "well, all that time apart makes for a good marriage...no fighting." Why do we sacrifice our relationships for work, for money? (Note: he looked so peaceful this morning...my heart told me to let him be).

...hello October

Welcome dear October. This past week the weather has begun a new dance. The cooler days have made it easier for me to rest during the day....bless the flannel sheet makers of the world over....so cozy. And work turned a bit too...this past week my associates seemed pleasant and worked hard every day (really). One of them said I have been smiling more, I overheard another associate relay to others that I was in a good mood, and then one of my toughest told me to "take care" when he clocked out, and when I said "thank you" he said "your welcome". So simple. The real question...who has been doing the changing...me or them?

The Huzzah Dress

Confession: I was very afraid to step on the scale when I came back from our Chicago festivities. Chicago pizza, mac and cheese....a cola with most meals. The daily workout consisted of walking and walking and walking the streets of the Windy city. I try hard to gage how I feel about my health other than what the scale reveals. Above is the prettiest piece of fashion I have ever had the pleasure of purchasing. When it arrived it was about 2 dress sizes too small. Though my pant size has dropped it has been a struggle to drop the dress size...weird. But yesterday I tried the dress on for motivation...and it fit...the zipper went to the top for a snug fit. I could still breathe and move around in it:) It is an overwhelming experience for a curvy woman like myself to fit into something I would have avoided just three months ago. I have yet to convince myself if I should have a public outing in the pretty huzzah dress. For now I am content to sashay around the home feeling lovely...if even for a few minutes of the day....

So Vain

It may have been a triple dog dare from the husband....but I did it today. Fourteen inches of my hair was clipped and prepared to send to Wigs for Kids. Yes, fourteen inches. Back in December my hair was below the backs of my knees and I had close to a yard cut off in order to style my hair for my brother's wedding. So today I do feel a bit vain...as every time I see my reflection I am still a bit shocked at the change. The decade old librarian school marm bun may be gone but I am forever a librarian at heart.

New York, New York

The first post card has arrived from the post card SWAP I am part of this month. It hails from New York City. It is great to receive a little bit of free art in the post. As for the post cards I made---they will find their merry way into the mail tomorrow. We are currently researching other methods for making my paint dabbles into post cards (and maybe baby sized prints) other than the local mass retail printer. For any one that leaves a comment over the next week before my vacation arrives I will send one of the post cards of the Hello Gnome, Salutations Bunnies, or the Greeting Bot---as a "thank you" for visiting and for your support into this art venture. The month of July was about getting online in to the craftster world...August was about getting some product made...and the September goal is to have something to offer the craftster world from my art heart.

Giddy-Up!

WOW! Forever ago theses fantastically splendid boots were ordered from the Wild Cowboy. I almost forgot about them until my husband found the box on the porch this morning. My little sister was the one in the family that had a youth spent on horses (now and then). Somewhere there are pictures of her in cowgirl boots, chaps, hat, and a duster. Me? I think in my past, at some point, I did pet a horse on its muzzle. I think. The whole reason I am being faithful to the gym is to reach some of the dreams I have in life...like going on a serious mountain bike trip with the husband and horseback riding with my sis. Who knew a pink pair of boots could represent so much?

I Shall Wear Purple

When I am an old woman I shall wear more purple....and green grass blouses filled with happy stars...and necklaces of Saint Frankenstein. Such things are joyous.

Stuck

In my youth I thought I was amazing smart and a bit edgy. My ego told me that I would never become like a particular aunt in our family (via marriage). Aunt B has been stuck in 1964 for a very very long time. She has had the same hair style, glasses, and fashion sense since that time period. It seemed to work for her at that time and she has stuck with the style that made her feel comfortable. To others, well, she appears dated. When I looked in the mirror today I realized that I too have become dated. I think I am stuck in 1994-1996. I have wanted to upgrade but when I have tried I still opt for the doc martins, the black glasses, the endless stacks of white, black and grey t-shirts and old blue jeans. As I work to put more art in my life, I realized I needed to put more fashion sense into myself. This is a challenge due to the fact that I am a terrible shopper. I have very little time or patience. Hence why I end up choosing the staple t-shirts and jeans. So for our Chicago trip next month I will spice up the wardrobe. The t-shirts will be staying home. And if I am feeling brave...maybe a drastic haircut (for the first time in almost 10 years). I am crossing my fingers that I can survive this challenge and avoid becoming a new generation of Aunt B.

Dusk bunnies

Sundays are difficult. I have to report to work at 8 PM after having my days off. It is confusing for my body and my mind trying to figure out when and if I should sleep or be awake....if I am going to be rested before I go into work. My solution was my new Sunday Vow: to start making a bit of art in the morning, followed by an early afternoon nap. This ties into the next step of the great art escape. Since the studio is basically done, the next step is to get creating again. Dusk Bunnies is my first dip into painting in quite a few months.

The sketch
Laying the groundwork
All filled in
Tah-Dah: The Dusk Bunnies!

Studio Details

Our his and hers Barney Miller Chairs

The blanket afghan that inspired the colors of the room. Made by a dear lady I once knew name Mavis.

The growing fabric collection patiently waiting for me to learn how to sew.

Buddha displaying his favorite pin of the day.

The Three French Hens. A holiday decoration to splendid to have hiding in a box in the attic until December.

In the Studio

This is a picture of our Center of Technical Operations. Or where we blog and such.

Our potted plants are very happy with the new and improved studio.

This is an early morning picture of my side of the studio.

Some of my favorite things are in this picture: the old school card catalog my mother purchased at auction (it houses a ton of art supplies, oh so organized!), the old looking office fan, a ceramic sculpture I made at my aunt's house when I was under the age of ten,and the wall of inspirational art from other artists.

The Prettiest Thing

Here is a glimpse of the studio curtains, a tiny corner of the rug, and the new palm plant...also from the Saturday sew time with mom. We are so close and yet so far from finishing the studio. What's left to do: waiting for the arrival of George's chair, sewing cushions for the matching Barney Miller chairs, table skirts, slip covers and pillows for the two guest chairs....and finding a solution for my ugly black metal shelves. Decoupage anyone?

Saturday Kitchen

Somehow the kitchen became a priority this past week. The dishes were attacked and the floor scrubbed. Even the trash can received attention. Mom came for the day on Saturday to sew curtains for the studio and the kitchen. The colors of robin egg blues and scarlet reds are taking over the kitchen. The apple and pear curtains are just perfect for the new color pallet. The table was gussied up with the recent additions of an embroidered table cloth and turquoise salt and pepper shakers. I just inherited the floral dishtowel from mom (it used to be Grandma's), and mom picked up the apple and checker glasses for a quarter at a church rummage sale. My African Violet was in need of love and was re potted too. Note: Yes, that is a watermelon still visiting from our Fifth of July picnic.

Mission One: Rooms for Change

These rooms are inspiration headquarters. One is the library and the other my tiny tiny studio. As you can tell both are jammed with stuff. And they both seem organized in and "I am in high school" fashion (IE things and more things everywhere). Part of my new dedication to art has been "The Escape Plan". A To-Do list of missions I have set for myself (and the spouse) to aid and abet my emancipation from the business machine. Next week I have my first real stretch of days off from overnights. The challenge of this mission will be to swap, reorganize, and beautify these two rooms...creating a studio where I can sew, paint, blog, and roll in the art.

Retirement in 32 + years...

It was a revelation. The other day I received my 401K update in the mail. Among other things I realized that I would have to work the rest of my life---just like most of America. And then *BAM*! My head started to swim. I am 33. I have been with my employer for 13 years. I have had my position for almost three years---with no desire to move up anytime soon (trying to hold on to my soul a little longer). Panic. Is this what I want to do with my life---for another 33 years (the span of my current lifetime). Uhg. What a dismal prospect. Even if I move up an up and up and up---I cannot fathom another lifetime worrying about the mundane of retail life. This cannot possibly be the purpose I am on this planet.

I came to the business because no one else would hire me. I stayed and worked my way through college---full time student and worker--graduated with honors (in the field of art education). I planned to teach---to paint. To move on. Jobs were slim and the bills came (college loans and bills from an emergency operation). I stayed and was promoted.

My ancestors worked in mines and steel mills. Long days. Dangerous. And little pay. They supported an education. They worked hard so their children and their children's children could do other things other than work for the machine.

I am not to proud to keep my job to pay for my living. But I do feel shame that I am not where my family and myself thought I would be.

This first journal entry marks the first night that I start working overnights for six months. It also marks the completion of my first proto-felt-elephant (for a felt book project). It felt wonderful sewing the last stitch. And it felt dismal when work called and told me I had to some in at 2AM to cover a shift.

I wish I could quit the corporate. I don't think I can stand to be a cog much longer.